Self-care can often feel like another thing on your to do list. The intention here is to explain what self-care is, the different layers of self-care, and a broader perspective that might inspire you to develop a self-care routine in the coming year.
What is Self-Care?
Self-care can be anything that fills your tank generally it involves time for yourself, getting away from responsibility and just being quiet. Self-care might take the form of:
- going for a walk or a hike
- receiving energy work like Reiki*
- running
- meditation*
- journaling
- massage*
- putting together a puzzle
- yoga*
- coloring
- biking
- making a creative arts project*
- cuddling up with your favorite blanket and cup tea (or a glass of wine) and your favorite book
- a nightly skin care routine
- a bubble bath
*available at Rochester Holistic Arts
Layers of Self-Care
Self-care can actually be viewed in layers beyond the individual activities above.
The first layer is to physically, mentally, and emotionally recharge yourself. Giving yourself what you know you need physically like a walk or the mental emotional break of disengaging from the media because of the stress or anxiety it causes to your mental health.
A second layer of self-care is that it’s a way of expressing honor and respect for yourself. It’s shifting to a mindset of self-worth. Instead of you taking care of yourself when time allows, you make the time. You realize your well-being is as important as other things on your calendar. You’re saying you have a mindset of “I want and need to take care of myself and I’m worth it”.
A deeper layer of self-care is actually creating the space where you can connect with your true self or your higher self not just the part of you that’s here on the physical plane. The higher part of yourself, the Divine self that when invited in can help you look at things differently, provide you with those intuitive hunches. Self-care is creating the space for that part of you that is interested and invested in supporting your overall well-being when given the opportunity.
Different approaches
In my book, Conscious Choices, I talk about reaction versus creation. Those two principles can be applied to self-care as well. The four step creation process discussed in Conscious Choices can also be applied.
The reaction approach to self-care is when you hit burnout and say “oh my God I just can’t keep going like this. I gotta do something for myself”. This is where you’re operating from a place of reaction.
Reaction Approach
Applying the four step creation process Think, Choose, Create, Experience your self-care might look something like this:
First you just think I’m tired I’m wore out I got to do something
Second, you choose or decide I’m going to get a massage that’s what’s going to help me
Third, you’re going to create time in your schedule to make the appointment and get that much needed massage
Last, you get to experience that relaxing or restorative massage and give yourself the gift of presence and being.
That experience is healthy and is definitely self-care. That’s taking care of yourself. You found the time, scheduled the appointment, showed up for the massage, and received the benefits. Celebrate the fact that you took care of yourself!
The creation approach to self-care involves actually scheduling your self-care into your life on a routine basis not just a one off when you hit burn out. You schedule it on your calendar along with your child’s sporting events, your work meetings, dinner with family, or any other commitment.
Creation Approach
You develop the habit of self-care by making it a priority. So when you go through that four-step process it looks something like this:
First, you think “I honor and respect myself and those around me enough that I’m going to make my health a priority. I’m going to make time for my self-care in a routine way.”
Second, you choose to schedule something on a regular basis – going for a walk every evening or a monthly massage or a weekly meditation group. The activity isn’t as important as the consistent commitment to the activity.
Third, you are now creating the mindset that your health and your well-being are worth this time and you’re creating the space to recharge on a regular basis.
Last, when you continually choose to honor that time to recharge you start to experience a sense of self-worth and that ripples through all the other areas of your life.
That’s what I’ve experienced because I had to make self-care a big part of my life when I realized as a single mom I couldn’t be there for my son if I wasn’t taking care of myself.
Inspiration to commit to Self-Care
So now that you’ve created that routine, that habit of scheduled self-care what happens is that you’re consciously choosing again and again and again to show up for yourself.
A lot of times it’s difficult. You’ll likely have dialogue that sounds like this:
Former self – “wait I got this going on with my kid”
New self – “but I’ve got my massage scheduled”
Former self – “cancel it”
New Self – “no wait I made the commitment – I’m worth it – I’m going!”
When you show up for yourself each time, time and again there’s a stacking effect to your choices.
It’s just like lack of self-care can lead to burn out or resentment when you have a self-care routine it builds positive interactions time and time again as all levels of yourself – your mental, emotional and physical – become aware that the self-care routine is in place.
As life goes sideways, your mind won’t panic and say “when do I get a break?!?” It knows that break is coming tonight when you go for that walk or in a couple weeks when you go for that next massage. That committed routine is building a stronger sense of self. It builds on itself because you’re setting the precedence for honoring and respecting yourself by keeping your commitment to yourself just like you would for another person. It helps you become a healthier version of yourself.
Consistency Pays Off
When you do this consistently then those around you begin to witness that healthier version of you and they will become supportive of your self-care routine.
This has been true for a client of mine who has four kids. Her kids and her husband at different times have said to her “when are you going to see Celeste again because you need to go have her clean you up?” She has said that after an energy session “When I leave here, I feel so much better and lighter and like I’m able to do what I need to and handle whatever comes my way.” So much so that even her family has noticed the difference in who she is as she’s fully committed to a self-care routine.
4 Steps to a Healthier You
So here’s the four step process to create that self-care routine and start experiencing a healthier version of you:
- Think about what fills you up
- Choose the activity and timing – a walk every evening, a monthly massage, a morning meditation, etc.
- Create the space on your calendar and commit!
- Experience the benefits of prioritizing taking care of yourself